Mayday!

It's May already and starting have to a deep fear inside of me. I want to to go into SAJC badly and sometimes, I just have flashfowards, like when I'm collecting my results and breaking down into tears because I failed. I want to be in SA for 12 straight years, and not wanting this fairytale to end this year. I remembered the effort put in the gangshow was tremendous, but the results was shit. I'm putting in my blood, sweat and tears into this for something, not for someone or any valuable item. And if my  l1r5 is based on how hardworking I am, I would be in RJC already. I just hope the next 5 4 months will be put well together. There's not much time to make a difference.

Recently, I realise I have this demon inside of me. It is called anger. I just can't find myself able to control it when some situation arises. I remembered when I was in primary school, I got so pissed by some faggot that I punched him up. That loser cried. Luckily, I wasn't as hot-headed for the past 3 years or I would have gone to serious trouble. If you think I'm always a guy who always keep his cool, it's time for me to break that bubble. And I don't know, I like to provoke others but not when others do the same to me. I need a real attitude adjustment. Hopefully, I won't must not find trouble with a new loser I found in someone. The arrogance in him boils my blood and the devil is just waiting to be unleashed. Please... keep myself cool.

Okay, let's stop these emo talks and talk about what happened recently. Finished 2 subjects already, English was pretty fine, should be able to reach my target but as for Chinese, the same can't be said. Many people said it's 'A' level standard, but I won't agree. It is just that we lack practice, that's all. It's 30 days away from 'O' and it can't be a worse time to demoralise us. After MYE, it's just me and Chinese, no other subjects, and If I fail, I would just drop to CLB. I won't take the risk it to retake and possibly, fail again. o.O Haha, and guess what?! Physics and SS are on my birthday, woohoo! NOT! The 2 papers I dread most and least confidence in. Hopefully my birthday will play a factor in me doing well for these 2 subjects. Haha, like real. I got the confidence in my veins for everything, so it should be fine. Ohoh, and I want to gym and play soccer badly. Staying at home everyday to study and eat sucks, you can see the family pack again. GAHH!!!

Okay, shall finish up on differentiation and chem before I sleep. (:

3 more days to SIXTEEN!

30 more days to CHINESE 'O'!

And ouch, I accidentally cut my thumb while shaving.